May 2021
What a horrible night to have a curse! - Castlevania: Simon’s Quest
The quote this time is a little bit more accurate for today than I would like. Normally I naturally keep sun exposure to a minimum, but visited someone during the weekend and didn’t even consider the consequences. Now I am sunburnt to all heck. Dracula and I have quite the common enemy, the sun. Anyways, I’m sure you noticed there are quite a few Castlevania entries this time around. I actually started the series quite a while back, but lost motivation due to the issues in Simon’s Quest. The latest season release of Castlevania pushed me to get through it and play what I could.
Top Games of the Month:
Resident Evil Village
Castlevania: The Dracula X Chronicles
Castlevania: Bloodlines
Platformer w/ speed and time trial focused. Jump, dash, activate switches to temporarily remove gravity, and disable enemy bots to continue climbing the tower.
The game overall is alright. It really just looks like a bonus time trial mode taken from other games as the shapes, enemies, and scenery is fairly generic. The story is pretty latent as you have to pick up item orbs to find anything about it, but honestly doesn’t really affect your ability to progress. However, if you are trying to get the true ending, you will need to complete the game once, and then use the late game abilities on earlier levels to find the remaining items which was a bit annoying.
Lewd? Nope
Recommend? Yeah, for a decent price you can enjoy trying to go fast through relatively well built and multi-path levels.
As a somewhat veteran of the DOOM series (mostly just the first two and the latest two) this game made me feel like an actual amateur. This game’s difficulty is insane. Even after putting the difficulty down from my usual Ultra-Violence to Hey, not too rough, I still felt the pressure of the demonic hoard and challenging level design. Seriously, it’s like going down a hall and “oops all Revenants” or dealing with three arch-viles plus additional demons in an environmental hazard zone with little health and ammo to my name. Still, I persevered through the Plutonium Experiment and even was able to put the difficulty up a tick for TNT Evilution.
Overall the game is essentially an expansion to DOOM II as it introduces no new enemies and has you deal with similar end-game bosses.
Lewd? Other than the railing I received, nope.
Recommend? It’s a hard recommend as the challenge is quite high but I feel like better person for getting through it. However, I probably will never pick up this game again.
Well shit, here we go again. Probably one of the first GTA games I had an actual chance to play through decently back in the day without it just being my cousin bringing over a copy of Vice city to drive around and run people over. Thus, this marks my first time getting to the end of any GTA game. So, I don’t have too much to reference from other games on similarities.
The story starts with CJ coming back to his hood only finding out the gang his “family” represents has dwindled and the streets taken hold by drug abuse. It’s up to CJ to strengthen the gang bonds and rid the streets of smack all the while fending off other gangs and corrupt cops.
The crazy thing about this game is that it is kind of a rollercoaster of themes. First it starts out as a gangster paradise themed game, but quickly changes tones through each major arc. SO much so that I think it didn’t really know how to end itself properly as the ending levels kind of just get thrown in your lap and end rather quickly, quickly forgetting all your previous experience up to this point. Other than this the gameplay revolves heavily on stealing rides, using (mostly gun) weapons to strike down your foes and pick up their cash. There are, of course a multitude of missions for you to take on. Some of which fairly traditional, the others (and worst of which) have you handling vehicles that handle terribly. So much so that future releases of this title had to be reworked to be more lenient for the player looking at you RC plane
Some of the biggest issues with this game is your ally AI can barely keep up with you, handling of most vehicles is clunky as heck, and as soon as you get settled to one theme of the game, it sends your butt quite a distance across the map. The last part is only really bad as there are many times where you are going to have to do several main missions that are unreasonably distant from each other. Even with the best vehicles, the paths can be annoying.
Lewd? A little as there are sexual themes present in this game including a dildo weapon, but nothing revealing and explicit.
Recommend? Despite falling apart towards the end, and some god(s) awful missions, this truly is an iconic entry in the GTA series that will have you go on quite an adventure.
What if the Civil War was steampunk? What if the gameplay of this would be a deck building strategy game? What if there is heavy importance on the postal service? Well, throw those “What ifs” out as this game is just that. You manage soldiers and steampunk bots to battle a mysterious foe that seems to be using the same Steampunk technology you had worked to create. Build decks with limits on deck size and different factions to either capture points or deal direct damage to the enemy as you figure out the mysterious villain.
Gameplay revolves around drawing cards and as the timer passes, for each second, a turn passes. This means that any placed cards will advance by their movement total, you gain an action point (which lets you play cards or activate abilities), and automatic attacks if they are in the cone of fire designated by each unit.
The story is pretty meh and somewhat predictable while the strategy side has a pretty solid core to it. However, some of the levels are a little obnoxious and despite some masterful built decks… some of the levels felt like there had to be some luck on my side in order to win. There is supposedly a way to play co-op and maybe that was the intention for some of these.
Lewd? Nope
Recommend? Just enough to say yes, but not so much that you should get this unless it’s on sale and it’s something you are already looking for.
One of the first Rogue-lite/Rogue-likes I have played, but long since dropped it. As is standard, once you die you lose everything and must pick a new character to start your next run. There are some exceptions as certain abilities can retain gold to assist in increasing starting stats, unlocks, etc. The character you pick each time is randomized of three descendents. Usually one has the same class and item while the other two can be anything. On top of this they also have a modifier. This can be anything good such as stronger attacks or unflinching, to harmful effects such as making you huge, turning the screen upside down, etc.
The plot is that you must explore the castles four main areas to beat each area boss in order to challenge the king of the castle. The castle itself, other than having the four areas being in their respective directions, is randomly generated so various events and challenges may appear. Platform and battle your way to create your legacy.
Lewd? Nope
Recommend? Leaning towards yes. The combat is fairly simple, and some of the enemies/bosses can be a bit much, but otherwise a decent rogue-like if that is a genre you enjoy.
Remaster of the original DOOM that not only looks better, but has a bunch of beneficial UI changes (along with not having to use DOSbox). I honestly did not expect it to look so good while still keeping it’s classic aesthetic. If you aren’t aware of the series, you are DOOM guy. An angry marine fending off the forces of hell from Mars and Earth alike. Equip yourself with an arsenal of weapons and strafe down hallways to rip and tear your enemies. It’s not straight combat though as you will need to solve minor puzzles and grab keycards to advance through doors.
Lewd? Nope
Recommend? Yes, though I don’t consider it the best of the originals. This game truly is a classic and holds up fairly well, especially with the upgraded graphics and UI.
Currently my game of the year. This game improves upon everything RE7 setup and more. Following the events of RE7, MIA and Ethan are relocated to Europe under a witness protection program from the past events. Despite this, things go awry as Mia is gunned down and your child taken by someone you thought you trusted. Now you must go through a village, castle, and more to find your kid and uncover the truth as monsters inspired by European urban legends, mythology, and literature try to kill you.
RE7, despite reintroducing the series to a new flavor of survival horror, was fairly one note in it’s enemies (blobs of mold). This fixes this quite a bit as each enemy has unique features and differ wildly as you explore. Not only the enemies get this treatment, but the greater villains and bosses as well. You are also no longer restricted to exploring an estate, but many different locals that unique and have a range of brightness and volume. This goes to show that even when you aren’t restricted to tight spaces and dark corridors, you can still give the player sense of fear and anxiety.
The game is still very much in first person with not only a wide range of guns, but they can now be modified and upgraded. This adds a bit of strategy and goals to making yourself survive just a bit longer.
Some of the levels felt a bit shorter than expected and often felt like I wanted more, but for what it’s worth this game is decently long and overall satisfying. Best yet, if you tire of struggling through after a long journey, there are points in the game that give you a short sense of power and action that cleanse that palate and reward the player for getting so far.
Story, overall, is really great as it sticks to a theme and will often circle back to previously mentioned subjects as well as explains various questions that the previous title left unanswered. There are moments where some situations could have been avoided, or just generally better actions by various characters. Despite this, there are plenty more where characters really shine and show their depth along with great voice acting and well animated scenes.
If you have beaten the game and want more (while we wait for the anticipated DLC), there is Village of Shadows difficulty which ramps up the challenge by restricting crafting/weapon upgrades and has a few surprises in store for the player. If that’s not enough, Mercenaries is back to go through various levels an get high-scores that will not only impress your friends, but unlock additional content for both Mercenaries and the base game. Finally, there is the extra-content shop. This allows you to spend points you get by passively completing challenges (via main story or Mercenaries) to get various gallery unlocks, weapons, and unlimited weapon options.
Lewd? Other than Big Vampire Mommy GF and her lovely goth daughters chasing you around the castle calling you “Man thing”? Nope, but that’s okay I got what I needed :)
Recommend? Very much yes. This serves as a much needed sequel to RE7 as it both fixes and answers a bunch of open questions and provides stellar gameplay.
This game underperforms in an already overly saturated top down zombie survival genre. This game has you manage a set amount of military/police to protect civilians from an incoming zombie threat. You can order them to stand watch in an area, follow a particular person, or have them target a specific threat.
This is where it quickly falls apart. First off, civilians can turn at any second despite not being bit. There is some visual warning, but is annoying. Additionally, if a zombie gets too close to your person (even if you have them target the zombie) they will instead run and take 0 offensive action. It is a losing battle as they are somehow slower than the actual zombie. This can be frustrating as even the best strategy can be ruined by this little mechanic. This and some poor AI development causes your units to essentially not listen to your commands. Levels very quickly become luck based and somewhat impossible to a game that offers no honest challenge or enjoyment.
Lewd? Nope
Recommend? Absolutely not.
Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest
This game was a bit daunting at first with the idea that it was open world. It wasn’t as initially as bad until you realize that it was not translated well or accurately. It’s not so much that it is hard to understand as it just gives you wrong information when you talk to people. This can severely hinder your progress as some of this information is crucial to progress, especially when certain items require a certain action at a certain place or break walls/floors that you wouldn’t have even noticed. Despite this very huge issue, the game is not as open as one might think and given some pushes here and there from a guide, you can pretty much stumble your way through with some determination.
Story wise, we once again follow Simon Belmont who must resurrect Dracula and defeat him once more to remove Dracula’s curse. Depending on how you play, you can get 1 of 3 endings.
The gameplay itself is fairly classic Castlevania as you wield your mighty whip and strike down any foes in your path. Some of the areas do not have the greatest design and can be downright frustrating as there may not be an alternative or better solution other than trial and error/perseverance. Bosses are not overly difficult and some of the fights can be enjoyable. There is also a time mechanic, and any time it hits night the curse acts up and causes even more powerful foes to awaken during this time. This includes and persists when inside a castle/dungeon.
Lewd? Nope
Recommend? Unless you can find a better port or mod, I would probably say you can pass on this unless you want to keep a guide on hand.
Castlevania III: Dracula’s Curse
We most go back in time before Simon Belmont defeated Dracula. Back to when Trevor Belmont was still around and on his journey to stop the old bat himself. This game returned to the classic Castlevania 1 format of being stages, but with a twist. After completing a stage you can go on branching paths to choose your journey and some paths will lead you to a boss that will let you recruit an ally on defeat. Having an ally lets you switch between Trevor and that ally any time during a stage to use their weapons and abilities. The only downside to this is that you can only have 1 ally in your party and you won’t know what the new ally does until you recruit them while the old ally will be gone forever. Additionally, defeating the game with the ally in your party will unlock a specific ending for them. So, team up with Grant, Alucard, and Sypha to take down Dracula.
Lewd? Nope
Recommend? Yes. Though I would have liked to been able to recruit multiple allies, the game plays well and isn’t overly difficult other than those annoying mummies.
Castlevania Bloodlines
No longer following the Belmont family, we find ourselves controlling a new generation of monster/vampire hunters. This game really throws out all the well-known names as even the final boss is no longer Dracula, but instead Dracula’s niece Elizabeth Bartley. You can play as either John Morris (uses whip similar to Belmont’s) and Eric Lecarde (uses a spear). Each character has different abilities and thus will be able to take different paths.
The game is once again pretty standard classic Castlevania as you move stage through stage to fight the bosses and fight the final boss who wishes to orchestrate World War I.
Graphically this game has improved quite a bit since the start of the series and they use their stages and bosses to really showcase the capabilities of their time. Bosses can be quite challenging, but using your abilities properly they can be quite enjoyable. Despite Konami’s attempt to sort of reinvent and send the series in a new direction, we never see these protags or their lineage again.
Lewd? nope
Recommend? Yes, an enjoyable journey that rarely gives that old-school unfair difficulty that some games are known for.
Castlevania: The Adventure
First Castlevania game to take place on a handheld and despite it’s basic name, takes place before Castlevania w/ Simon. Instead we play as Christopher Belmont who gets the age old task of stopping Dracula. Not going to lie… this game really underperforms. Graphically, the game lacks quite a bit for its time and the combat and level design are fairly bare bones. So much so that the game no longer features sub-weapons and whip upgrades are removed if you take damage. This also features both a time limit which can be quite close for time to complete as well as pixel perfect jumps and impossibly annoying room designs.
Lewd? Nope
Recommend? No, the game was held back by technical limitations and offered nothing in terms of quality gameplay
Castlevania II: Belmont’s Revenge
Direct Sequel to the previous handled (C: The Adventure) as Cristopher Belmont once again answers the call to defeat Dracula who just does not want to stay down. This time it is personal as Dracula as captured and turned your son against you. This game returns a lot of the formula of previous, mainly returning the use of sub weapons. Stages are set up closer to Mega Man this time where you can complete the stages in any selected order. Defeating all 4 main stages unlocks the final path.
This game really improved on everything the last game failed to do so and showed the capabilities both graphically and performance wise the GameBoy could handle. Visuals were more crisp, combat and moving was less choppy, and the general level design was well built. Each boss and area provided a healthy challenge and enjoyable experience. You also get to face another legitimate Vampire Hunter which was cool to experience a being with abilities equal to yours. Equally matched of sorts.
Lewd? Nope
Recommend? Yes, wildly improved over it’s prequel and holds up fairly well despite being released on the Game Boy.
Castlevania: The Dracula X Chronicles
Remake of Rondo of Blood w/ 2.5D graphics. We play as Richter Belmont who wishes to save his betrothed from Dracula’s grasp. This game was actually pretty impressive as the new depth of graphics really created beautiful and lively areas while the dialogue and action kept you wanting more. As per tradition you play stage by stage equipped with a whip and various sub-weapons to fight an onslaught of enemies, platforms, and unique bosses. A slight change is that each sub-weapons has an ultimate ability that deals a devastating blow while costing quite a bit of hearts. It’ll take planning and knowledge to use each weapons ability well.
Each level was fairly enjoyable, and if equipped with the right abilities and knowledge allowed for alternate paths to new stages, new bosses, and new endings. The remake of the game itself adds cutscenes, dialogue, and adjustments to various bosses and stages all the while remaining a healthy difficult (other than one stage that I loathe flea men and trap stage makes for a poor time
What makes the Dracula X Chronicles even more impressive is that also includes the original Rondo of Blood, various modes such as Boss Rush mode, unlockable characters, and even the sequel to Rondo, Symphony of the Night. There is just so much included in this game and every bit of it is enjoyable.
Lewd? Nope
Recommend? Very much yes. Though everyone talks of it’s sequel, Symphony of the Night, Rondo of Blood is every bit as good and deserves just as much recognition.
Castlevania Legends
We are back to handheld Castlevania w/ a third entry on the GameBoy, but this time we are in a bit of an alternate timeline. Instead we play as one of the few female Belmont protags, Sonia Belmont. In this timeline, Sonia is actually the first hunter in her lineage and thus is the first to face Dracula. Even more interesting enough it seems that her and Alucard are a bit sweet on each other (understandable) and both wish to stop the old bat. This entry keeps a lot of the improvements that Belmont’s Revenge and puts a few twists on it. This time after defeating each boss, Sonia unlocks a new ability called a “soul weapon”. Some of these are extremely powerful but consume hearts to use (not health).
The combat is enjoyable and does not have the same ridiculously hard final boss as Belmont’s Revenge did.
Lewd? Nope, just some intimate talk w/ Alucard.
Recommend? Yes, though this game is no where near cannon it does create an interesting premise w/ solid gameplay and unique mechanics to back it up.
Super Castlevania IV
Despite being called IV, this game is more of a reboot of the original Castlevania. This entry was graphically and mechanically impressive as each level was redesigned entirely to showcase the capabilities of this new system. Wider range of colors and shadows were available, the ability to transition into the background during certain times, and the water and various environment affects and sprites were simply stunning. The gameplay mechanics allowed better control of the whip as you can no whip in more directions than before and even manually control it to the point where you could whip it in circles at the cost of movement. Some bosses were switched up while others were replaced entirely, providing both classic European monsters to some more unique entries. Either way they stood out and felt like proper bosses. Naturally I hated the mummy boss
Platforming was ultimately a new experience as the whip could now latch onto rings for you to swing from, and various capabilities allowed for massive maps.
Lewd? Nope
Recommend? Yes! This game not only showcased the power and capability of the SNES but made a generally great remake/reboot of the original.
keep sun exposure to a minimum
where shamblers dwell in dim moon light beyond the warmth of day
Another impressive post! Just out of curiosity, how do get all the older games? Do you have them from their release or do you buy them second hand?
Thanks! It’s a little bit of column A and a little bit of column B. Actually, earlier this Summer/Spring I got really into collection building. This was in part due to the original announcement of the PS3 and PS Vita stores closing (which they bailed on). So, for what I didn’t own I sought out entries (for all sorts of platforms) and exclusives, looking for cheap (thrift stores, online deals) and/or digital copies.
Thanks for the explanation! Is it hard to find copies of those games? I have no idea how common (playable) copies from this era are.
It’s either hard to find or hard to find that isn’t crazy expensive. It’s part of the reason I got Dracula X Chronicles for the PSP instead of Rondo of Blood/Dracula X[SNES] (not that there are any complaints there). As Rondo of Blood (or the original Dracula X) are either rare or like $500 depending on where you look.
That’s…a lot of money! So I see, collecting those is a challenge at times. All the more impressive how many games you’ve already collected.