Amitte

Progress report: April ‘21 (a.k.a. I’m Not Quitting! And We’re Not Stopping!)

Wonder if I’ll even remember the reference I’m trying to make in the title later on…
Oh, hi there. Nice to see you reading this. Just kidding, no need to feel watched.
This past month has brought wonderful news: the PSP/PSVita/PS3 digital stores will not be closing down!
The fact that Jim Ryan signed the announcement himself lead people to believe in Sony recognizing that there still are, in fact, people buying digital content to use on those consoles (myself included). However, now that I’m in the “intrusive thought” zone of it all, I feel like all the money I save up (…and earn?) in the future will go to buy me more PS games, as my Steam backlog is, assuming I’ll have the time to finish everything at a considerable pace (100 games/year, anyone?), about nine, maybe ten years’ worth of games.
Still, I did my best working through both my PS and Steam backlogs equally.
And so, this month’s kills are as follows:

9 Clues 2: The Ward - Don’t suppose this relates much to the prequel, except for the detective mode mechanic, the detective from the first game and random photos of locations from Serpent Creek found around the game. I’ve also got no idea what happened here - did the characters look like this in Serpent Creek too? The cartoonish style is okay, but the way their faces move when they speak is outright freaky. The story was interesting, but it felt as though it lacked a more satisfying ending than just “police is taking the baddie, want some coffee?” The BGM loop that plays in the credits is also way too short. And last, but not least, achievements. Putting in a choice between HOG-ing and Mahjong doesn’t make the game have replay value… sobs

Batman - The Telltale Series - Y-you’re telling me… this was Batman all along? Holy shit! Listen. I’ve never watched a Batman movie, much less read a comic or played a different game, but this… this was amazing. I naturally had no knowledge about the villains that appeared here, so it was all exciting and kept me on my toes at all times. I’m glad I got to play the Shadows Mode, because it really feels like everything would look wrong in color. I’m also glad this game did a much better job of not cutting secondary characters off when you make a choice (damn you, TWD), because the voice acting is stellar. Now I can’t wait to play the sequel and see Joker in all his glory.

Beyond Eyes - An atmospheric walking simulator that lets you explore the world through Rae, a girl blinded by an unfortunate accident. I really enjoyed uncovering the world by walking around and did my best to see as much as I possibly could, but I still ended up missing most of the achievements. While the slow walking speed adds charm to the original experience, it really slows down the clean-up. Still, it was easy enough to go back and complete it.

Dead Horizon - It advertises itself as a point-and-click… and I gueeesss that’s what it is? Don’t expect any location exploration, though. It’s the Wild West, after all.

Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator - Ah yes, the first ever Game Grumps game. I’ve been excited about it ever since it’s come out and I watched other people play it before I had the chance to get my hands on it. It’s… good! It’s really nice, you get to create your player character (a “dadsona”, if you will) and, together with your teenage daughter (who is super cute, by the way. Amanda, I love you), you move into a new house… which really is in the same town (city?), but the cul-de-sac it stands in is chock-full of dads. Widow dads, divorced dads, not-so-divorced dads… we’re only really missing an adoptive dad, but that’s besides the point. The game is full of dad jokes, puns, nonsense and humor so American it goes way over my head at all times. The dads are fairly likeable, but I feel like the “three dates determine your future” formula does them a disservice; perhaps the comic books are better on that front? I’ve seen mixed reviews. Then there’s a secret ending, which is not canon, because “we [the devs] are horror buffs, but the Dream Daddy universe is still wholesome”… but I mean, come on! The moment you learn who’s the star of that ending, they start radiating that kind of vibe… ya dig? Also the BGM in that ending kicks ass. Also also there’s a great, if minimal, voice cameo. So yeah, that’s it for the good stuff. For the worse stuff… despite being very different characters in terms of story, Mat and Hugo just look a little too samey to me, hence me leaving them for last. Then there’s also the fact that the game was made in Unity, so you don’t get options which are considered standard for VNs at this point, like a backlog or an option to skip previously seen text. (Why, oh why do people make VNs in Unity?! cries) But most importantly, the minigames. They’re a mistake. Their artstyles differ immensely from the VN itself, which detracts from the experience. They also range in difficulty from mind-numbingly easy (Craig’s running minigame and Robert’s whittling minigame) through “what the fuck am I even doing?” (Joseph’s radio fixing minigame and Mat’s minigames) to “you gotta feel how competitive this is” (Brian’s minigames). I was utterly disappointed with Mat’s piano minigame, because my immediate thought was “hell yeah, I’m gonna get to play a rhythm game!”… but no. You just pretend to plonk away while a karaoke with some kinda gibberish (is that what ska lyrics really looked like?) [EDIT: I think they were referencing one of the Space Quest games… but still, what???] plays in the background. But the biggest pain in the ass - and if you have played Dream Daddy already, this will come as no surprise - is Brian’s minigolf minigame. It has an achievement tied to it, which has only been unlocked by a staggering 0.5% of players. To unlock it, you need to score 18 hole-in-ones in a row. “Seems easy, why have so few people unlocked it?” Well. It’s not a normal golf minigame. Oh no. You have to figure out the perfect angle at which to shoot, and do it as fast as possible, because the more time you take, the weaker the shot will get. And it doesn’t get better when playing through the minigame menu (if anything, it gets worse, because you can’t save halfway), it’s like the devs still want you to feel as if Brian is breathing down your neck (and he’s not really, he’s a good guy). And even though you can save halfway through the match if playing in the VN, you can’t actually quit the game because it will reset your progress on the achievement. Wonderful, isn’t it? It’s yet another magnificent example of something that doesn’t belong in the game it’s in (or any other game, for that matter), because it’s simply not fun. Doesn’t spark joy, if you will. Could extend the 15 hour playtime god knows how many hours more. I’ll keep the game installed for now, but only time will tell if I end up attempting it again.

Edna & Harvey: Harvey’s New Eyes - This series is convoluted! I mean, not really, buuut… let’s start from the beginning. Here, you play as Lilli, a little girl living at a convent along with a few other kids, including… Edna! How old is she again? Anyway. Life at the convent is supervised by Mother Superior Ignatz, who one day invites Doctor Marcel to come and try his new therapy methods on the kids… and that’s where everything really picks up. Despite seeming oddly like a prequel to The Breakout at the beginning, Harvey’s New Eyes is, in fact, a sequel, as multiple references to the first game are made throughout. As “knock-your-socks-off” as this game ended, I feel like there has to be something more than it. There have been a few rumors about a third game, so I’m going to keep my peepers peeled for that.

I Love You, Colonel Sanders! A Finger Lickin’ Good Dating Simulator - The only reason this has been festering in my unfinished pile was that I originally played it on a computer that wasn’t mine and got the bad ending, then for whatever reason didn’t care to go back to replay it for a looong time. Now that I’ve finally gotten the good ending, let’s get a few things straight. I can believe that the real Colonel Sanders had grown bitter upon seeing what the brand he created has changed into, and I can believe that the employees who got to witness/experience that bitterness didn’t exactly harbor the most positive of feelings towards him… but I mean, come on. The anime-fied counterpart is hot. And no, I’m not saying that because I’m under the spell of advertisement (even though KFC does have free drink refills, which is totally boss). I just wish there had been a little more pizzazz to the good ending.

Long Live The Queen - This one has spent a long, and I mean, a looong time in my unfinished pile! In Long Live The Queen, you control Elodie, a 14 year old princess, who is soon to become the queen of her land… that is, if she can use the 40 weeks remaining until her coronation wisely. The gameplay is simple, every week you choose what Elodie studies and how she spends her free time, which broadens her knowledge of the chosen subject(s) and impacts her mood accordingly, respectively. Depending on what you choose to study, certain events will trigger stat checks, which can impact the story only slightly, or outright kill Elodie, at which point the game ends. If you manage to keep Elodie alive for 40 weeks, no matter how you rule, she will get crowned Queen and you’ll win the game. Achievements are mostly strictly tied to exploring different events, however, so about halfway through my completion (if not much earlier… probably earlier, yeah) I gave up, knowing I wouldn’t have the brains to figure this game out and resorted to using countless (and I do mean countless) guides to get all the remaining achievements. On the plus side, the more guides you examine, the easier it is to pinpoint the more or less universal way to win the game. Still, I didn’t feel like fooling around and spending more time than needed in this game. It’s not bad, it’s just kind of… not my type of game, if you will. It’s just a shame I never kept track of all the guides I used, so I could upvote them. Maybe I should just go around and upvote all of them. (lol)

Pixel Puzzles 2: RADical ROACH - “I’ve had enough of those puzzle games”, I thought as I made this purchase. Luckily, the completion of this went smoothly. If you know any of the other Pixel Puzzles titles, this needs no explanation. Two things it could use, however, are a BGM change (is there anyone who likes putting together puzzles while listening to party music?) and the ability to make option choices permanent (as it stands, you have to turn off piece rotation every time you launch the game). Other than that, it’s perfectly standard.

Scribblenauts Unlimited - Scribblenauts Unlimited is a relatively simple text parser (is that what you call that, again?) game aimed at kids. You control Maxwell, one of the 42 kids of Edgar and Julie, a pair of adventurers. Having retired from traveling around the world, Edgar and Julie gave all their children gifts they’ve found in the past. Maxwell, and his only sister, Lily, received a magical notebook and globe, respectively. However, those things were so cool using them made the kids spoiled. So spoiled, in fact, that after Maxwell pulled a prank on a hooded beggar, the man cursed Lily to turn to stone! To reverse the curse, Maxwell learned that he will need to collect Starites, small, star-like objects. And that’s where you come in. Starites can be earned by doing good deeds, meaning you will be tasked with creating some objects and manipulating the quality of others to get all 106 Starites. I had a lot of fun with this game, but…! Most of the problems are stupid easy to solve - if someone is being attacked, just make the attacker “dead”, if someone needs a thing to disappear, just make that thing “nonexistent”. I’m not going to complain about the things I couldn’t solve on my own, because I’d rather assume that’s just my ineptitude. I’m also not sure how the devs thought implementing the Object Shards will go - for nearly all of them, I just sat there creating the things in one place instead of… I dunno, getting a chance to have fun with it? If you’re thinking of playing this with your kids, you might want to consider that while it’s not possible to input vulgar words into the parser, comedic violence is present. Personally, I enjoyed this game nonetheless and am looking forward to playing the superhero spinoff, despite the negative feedback I’ve seen on it.

Sherlock Holmes: The Secret of the Silver Earring - Another month, another SH game. This one, while not nearly as buggy as The Mystery of the Mummy, still refused to work properly without outside tweaking. Because of that, I can’t even tell what the default resolution was for this game and running it in 1024x768 got me constant visual errors (which, thankfully, didn’t actually impact the gameplay) like characters showing up outside where they were supposed to be and Sherlock getting too tall for the doors he was using as he got close to them. Because the outside fixes still weren’t enough to ensure the game didn’t crash, I completed it, walkthrough in hand. No regrets, as there is also a possibility of locking yourself out of completion if you don’t pick up a certain piece of evidence at the beginning of the game and the story will progress anyway. I honestly feel like I wouldn’t have been able to progress on my own anyway, but I guess whichever game in the series is the first one that doesn’t refuse to work will really tell me if I have a pea brain and the SH games are just too hard for me. And last, but not least… this game has two non-point-and-click sections - a stealth section and a time-limited section, both of which have no place in an adventure game such as this (taking the “adventure” name too seriously, Frogwares?), especially not with how particular the hotspots you have to click on to get around are. Oh well, done and dusted. Next up is The Awakened, I really hope it’s not a broken mess.

Time Mysteries 2: The Ancient Spectres - The cover girl is not the protagonist, I feel cheated. This game is almost completely unrelated to the prequel, but I wouldn’t have known that, had I not read the small glossary found in the Extras menu after finishing the game. Once again, you do your usual HOG-ing while traveling through time, however… eeh, this still isn’t as good as the standard later AM games have gotten me used to. The character models are ugly, the voice acting is terrible; one of the characters doesn’t even have a voice! I like the idea of helping yourself out through time - you plant a tree in, say, the year 1500, a hundred and some years later, it’s going to be a fully-grown, majestic tree. But when a few loose planks hammered onto said tree as a makeshift ladder in the past turned into a full-blown treehouse in the future, I had to laugh. What, did someone just assume this makeshift ladder meant we want to have a treehouse? Not to mention the place that tree grew in, that’s not really where you want a treehouse. At least I didn’t have to replay this game to do minigames instead of HOGs.

Every week/month I post, I’ve been trying my best to shill my ABC Challenges, save for a few posts I forgot to put it all in. Maybe I should stop doing that until I actually get close enough to finishing one of them? That’s why they’re not linked at the top of this post.
See you next month :)

almost 3 years ago 1 comment
Cece09

Oh those are some nice games there. Oh its been so long since I 100% 9 clues, yh i hate those ones where its like hey play it through twice

almost 3 years ago