Normally, I save my portable games for when I’m away from my computer, but I heard that this game was gonna have its servers shut down on September 9, so I figured I’d play through it real quick. Also, every loading screen said “connecting” instead, so maybe this game isn’t as portable as I thought.

This is a platformer. Swipe on the left side of the screen to move left or right, “flick” on the left side to dodge-roll (guess how often one happens instead of the other by accident), swipe down on the left side to duck, tap the feather bubble to jump/double-jump, tap the acute-angle-bubble to slide, or tap anywhere else on the right side of the screen to attack. There’s also a special attack bubble, but I rarely used this since you can use more powerful weapon skills by swiping left, down, or right on the right side of the screen (swiping up uses your equipped subweapon). The weapon skills you have depend on what weapons you’ve equipped. As you progress, you’ll unlock more characters to play as, and eventually, assist summons which can damage all enemies on-screen or heal yourself. Assist summons are limited-use-per-stage, so I’d sometimes forget I had them. In contrast, the game also unlocks quest supporters when you make it to the first boss: the game gives you a list of other players before a stage (presumably other players who are online right then because the list changes and I only saw a 100k player once). During the stage, each time you land an attack on an enemy, the quest supporter meter fills up (thank goodness it’s based on attacks and not damage), and when your player icons are glowing, you can tap it to switch to the other player’s character and, more importantly, stats (but be careful not to tap the chat button right next to it, because that’ll obscure the screen without pausing). After switching, a percentage of their health will be taken away every second, effectively acting as a timer before forcing you back to your character (which is reduced further if you take damage, obviously). Speaking of stats, the game treats them a bit different than other games: you can still see individual attack/defense/HP of characters, but the game has more emphasis on an aggregate stat that basically adds everything together into one huge number. Stages have “recommended stats” that are specifically meant to be compared to said aggregate, and the quest supporter list has the players’ aggregate stats front and left-center. It’s a quick way to see who’s stronger in a general sense (obviously 55k>23k), but if you see two players who have similar aggregate stats, you may wanna check their weapon levels (placed to the right of their aggregate stats in a much smaller font) since that 54k Alucard might actually be stronger than that 55k Alucard.

The game starts off with an intro stage that teaches you the basic controls, but it also starts you off with auto-attack enabled and enemies that die in one hit and also just stand there and let you hit them. At first I was like “oh no, this game is gonna be boring,” but the game tells you how to disable it in the next stage, which has more formidable enemies. It’s also called “semi” auto attack, so I was worried it sometimes wouldn’t work when I wanted it to; yet another reason to disable it.

The stages are separated into books: each book has 15 stages and an end boss, with the stages further separated into groups of 5. To play a stage, it costs 5 “ether” (10 for hard mode stages); to refill ether, you have to increase your rank or I think wait a day, but recently it felt like waiting didn’t get me more ether; maybe it only counts if you log in the very next day instead of skipping a day? Then again, I had a glitch early on that got me more than the max ether, so each “refill” just increased it by that much more and I ended up with 999 by the end of book 5. Each stage has a 10 minute time limit with one or two rooms (which are maybe 3-4 screens wide and 2-3 tall) before the final room, where you fight 1-3 waves of enemies. Beat the first stage in a set, and you unlock both the next stage in the set and the first of the next set (or the end boss if it’s first of the third set), though any subsequent stages just unlock the next stage in said set. Beat the last stage in a set and you’ll get to read a visual-novel style cut-scene; there are some serious moments, but the writers also regularly just have fun with the concept. Even if you’re not interested in story, you’re still encouraged to play the stages linearly since the enemies’ stats regularly increase, indicated by the “recommended stats” number before each stage.

Speaking of levels, while you do gain experience, it only happens when you beat a stage, and leveling up a character only increases said character’s HP and MP; if you want to increase your attack, you’ll need to use “enhancement runes” on your weapons to increase their experience points. Thing is, on top of weapons having a max level, you also can’t increase them above your current rank (like leveling up, but it isn’t restricted to one character (except the AP it gives you)). If you want more enhancement runes than what the levels give you, you can trade gold to get up to five in the shop; after that, you have to wait one real-life day before you can get five more. If you have plenty of rank but reach the default level cap, your only hope of squeezing more strength out of that weapon is if you get 100 “parchments” of that weapon. While it is possible to get parchments in levels, I never got more than 20 for any individual weapon, and the only other way to get parchments is to get a duplicate of the weapon, and the only way to get more weapons is to use the Summon option in the hub, which summons one random weapon. Not the one you wanted, or even one for the character you’re using? Too bad. Also, you only get one free summon per real-life day; any subsequent summon you want to do will cost you “gems” (to give you an idea how rare a resource this is, it used to be the game’s paid currency before its micro-transactions were disabled).

Another annoyance is that the game locks certain equipment slots until you reach a certain rank. You can tap on the slot to see “unlocks at rank 20” or whatever, and that’s one thing, but once you reach the required rank, you have to go to your gift box and claim the upgrade, which I felt was an unnecessary extra step. In fact, a bunch of stuff gets sent to your gift box instead of directly into your inventory; luckily, there’s a “claim all” button you can tap to save time.

Back to the enemies’ stats: it doesn’t take long into the first book’s second set of stages for enemies to start getting a bit grindy…that is, if you haven’t leveled up your weapons at all. After I leveled up my main weapon, it did fine until the around first book’s end boss, where I did so little damage to said boss, it felt like my only hope of winning was to use a quest supporter. Then, a few stages into the second book, I realized that leveling up my secondary weapon also increased my overall attack, so that one was on me. Something that may not be as obvious is that leveling up your subweapon also adds to your overall attack instead of your subweapon having its own attack. By the end of book 3, I had unlocked all weapon equip slots and upgraded my weapons to their max level, but the recommended stats for book 4 stage one were double that of book 3’s end boss, so I decided to play Hard Mode for book 1, since book 1 stage one’s hard mode had similar recommended stats to book 3’s end boss. However, as I neared the end of book 1’s hard mode, it started to get pretty grindy once again; the only reason I was able to alleviate that grind was because I got enough “bounty coins” to buy a high-max-level weapon from the shop, and I only had that many bounty coins because of the game’s daily login bonus, and I’m pretty sure the game’s daily login bonuses were only that generous because the servers are about to be shut down.

And then, not long after I made it to book 5, it started to become grindy again, except at that point, there really wasn’t anything I could do to strengthen my own character (it didn’t have as drastic an increase in recommended stats as from book 3 to book 4, though). The game becomes less about learning enemy tells and counterattacking and more about managing your weapon skills and quest supporter (and assist summons; almost forgot about them again).

To make matters worse, the controls have issues. On top of the aforementioned move/dodge problem and quest supporter/chat problem, there’s the fact that your thumbs will be covering part of the screen, so if there’s something behind you, you might not see it even if it’s on-screen. I also lost count of the number of times I accidentally tapped close enough to the phone’s “back” or “recently used apps” buttons which caused the game to auto-pause, at which point I wouldn’t be able to move because I’d have to unpause, then swipe on the screen, meaning I’d usually take damage after unpausing. There were also several times where I’d try to move and jump, but the angle I swiped was too far down and it counted as a duck, causing me to jump down the thin platform I was on into spikes. After all this time, Glory of Valkyrie still has the best buttons-to-touch-screen conversion I’ve seen, yet I haven’t seen another game try to duplicate it. I definitely recommend using a physical controller for this game. There’s also the fact that some enemies have tells that go by so quick, you likely won’t have time to react even after you learn what attack the tell foreshadows, like when the minotaur charges forward, or if the stone golem shoots a laser at you while its off-screen. Mechanics also have their issues, namely that most characters can’t move and attack at the same time (you can dodge-roll out of an attack, but that isn’t always safe). Simon has it the worst: not only does his ground combo have a longer delay between attacks than other characters, he also steps forward for the second and third attack, doing a long jump forward for the finisher (luckily, his movement stops at the edge of a platform). You’re probably wondering “why use this character at all if he has so many disadvantages?” Simple: he starts with a weapon who’s weapon skill is a massive increase in your attack for 30 seconds (from 23 damage to 140 damage), and for a game where “grindy” means “it takes 30 seconds constantly attacking a stunlocked enemy to kill it, then you get to the next enemy,” that attack increase is kinda necessary for the game to have any semblance of normal game-play. It also helps that he has longer and wider range than most other characters (and mid-air combos keep him stationary and speed up his attacks, even if it’s limited to a 3-hit combo instead of 4).

However, I think the most frustrating aspect of the game is that the level design…isn’t half bad. Sure, half of the stages are pretty bland and just serve as flat planes for the enemies to do their thing, but there are some clever moments, like an optional segment in book 2 stage 15 where you fight a harpy on a conveyor belt that leads to a spike wall, or when you have to time jumps over platforms that go in and out of flames coming out of the floor. Even hard mode stages have some new spike pits or flamethrowers instead of just different enemy placement. Some stages have segments that constantly spawn medusa heads, which is a mark against the level design, but still: this game could’ve been okay, but instead the stats were skewed to the point where it’s almost as bad as Cross Code, all in the hopes that people would buy microtransactions. It’s tragic.

Lastly, I should talk about the books’ end bosses. The first is a giant bat whose pattern isn’t too hard to learn: it can do a convex parabola attack, as well as spin into a drill and charge at wherever you are, and as it takes damage, it can fly offscreen and throw three bats your way before charging at you itself, or turn into a bunch of shadow bats and slowly chase you. Also, this is the only boss where the entire arena fits on screen, so the rest will have stuff happening off-screen, where you can’t see.

The second boss is a suit of armor with a floating head; once you realize the floating head is its weak point (attacking the armor does single-digit damage), you can keep your distance from the armor’s attacks and just focus on the head.

The third books boss is a dragon, and as soon as you get control of your character, it begins carpet-bombing the arena, each shot exploding into smaller projectiles. How are you supposed to dodge this? Turns out, the dragon lacks collision, so once you double-jump on to an upper platform, you can double-jump over its head and through the rest of it safely. After the boss carpet bombs the arena a few times, it’ll flap its wings to try pushing you away, then ground-pound and start shooting fireballs across the floor, though you’ll need to be close by so you can see its head (that’s how it conveys the elevation of said fireballs). After you get its health down enough, it’ll ground pound in the center of the arena and shoot fire around in a circle, so you need to use the upper platforms to jump around its head.

Boss 4 is a ball of people: attacking the edges gets rid of that chunk at the edge, but the center is its weak point (Simon’s range can reach the center by default). After you attack the center enough, all the people go away (except the ones that fell on the floor), revealing its true form: a purple ball with six tentacles. However, these tentacles don’t stay still: it’ll spin around, either shooting flame that sticks to platforms or lasers that pierce them. Unfortunately, there are no platforms above the boss, so if you’re running away from the lasers and make it to the top, you have nowhere to go and are forced to take damage (keep in mind at this point, you die in 2-3 hits due to enemy stats). Once you get its health low enough, it’ll move diagonally, bouncing off the walls and ceiling, being very hard to predict or react to. At this point, quest supporters become a necessity to avoid grinding. Oh, and when you finally beat this boss, you get a surprise boss afterward. It’s pattern is much easier, but there’s no way to tell beforehand if he’ll swing the ax or shoot fireballs forward; you have to anticipate rather than react. Also, if you die here, you have to fight the people ball again (unless you spend 100 gems to continue, which I never did but I swear it better be an instant-revive rather than sending you back to a checkpoint). At least there’s no time limit, but there’s also no visible health bar for the surprise boss, either.

Honorable mention: the miniboss at the end of book 5 level 15 is a giant suit of armor with giant attack ranges. The only way to get behind it is to jump up some platforms by the edges and touch a mirror that’ll teleport you to the other side, but once the boss notices you’re behind it, it’ll wind up a large spin attack that you need to be far away from to avoid (can’t duck under it), and if you attack its front, you’ll just damage its guard by 1 point instead of its health.

Next up is the boss of book 5, which somehow manages to top all of that. It’s a giant armored centaur with two crossbows slapped on its side. The crossbows track you, but stop moving a couple seconds before they glow, which is about a half second before they fire. It’s possible to attack the arrow to kill it, but it can easily slip between your combo and hit you (at least it can with Simon’s midair combo). It’s possible to attack the crossbows to disable them, but their hit-box is kinda wonky compared to every other enemy, seemingly only being damaged if you attack the spot beside the glowy part (whichever side is closer to the center). On top of this, the boss regularly walks back and forth, stomping the ground and hurting you if you’re caught there. It’ll only stop moving to stab the ground or kick up its legs (its hind legs have enough range on their own, so its front legs generate a stationary flame column for a couple seconds to compensate). You can kill its kneecaps to make it kick up more often, at which point you can move between its legs, but this is the most dangerous spot because not only is there barely enough room to dodge the stomps, you’re also in range of both crossbows. Plus, you can’t attack its other kneecaps at this point despite technically being in range (unless you have Alucard’s “attack from behind” weapon skill); you instead just have to wait for it to kick the other legs back before you can move out. Once you’ve killed all of its knees, it’ll collapse and you can finally jump on its back and attack it’s real weak point and deal actual damage to its main health bar. Thing is, you’re probably not going to kill it while it’s stunned, and when it gets up, its kneecaps recover half their health and so long as you remain on its back, you have to deal with three new attacks with three new tells (including avoiding its tail, which becomes a contact hazard during the wind-up animation), all while also being in range of both crossbows. Honestly, I found it easier to jump off manually and go for the kneecaps again. Once you kill it, the boss enters its second phase! It loses its spear, which you can now jump on to get to the boss’s weak point better, but now you can’t damage its knees anymore, and when it kicks up its front legs, another flame column generates in front of the first, and so on until they go off screen. It’s relatively fast and there isn’t much room to stand between them, either. Also, it still walks back and forth at irregular intervals, so it may not always be close enough to the spear for you to get many hits in, even after jumping forward. On my last attempt, I figured out that attacking the red ball on its head was actually how to stun the boss instead of its weak point, but I took advantage of that and hit it a bunch of times, so when it recovered, I had filled my quest supporter meter and was able to use the increased stats to kill it. Only took me 75+ tries. One positive I’ll say about the boss is, despite all the moving parts, they always sync up with each other, so theoretically, you could learn how to dodge each potential setup.

So, what is my reward for defeating this difficult boss?

Yup, this was an Early Access title THE WHOLE TIME. The last cut-scene implies that SNES Dracula X would be a different grimoire than Rondo of Blood, which makes sense since they’re different games, but who would the new assist summon be? Not Trevor, that’s for sure. On one hand, it isn’t much of a loss considering the rest of the game, but on the other hand, it’s disappointing for the game to end on a cliffhanger.

So yeah, this one’s really hard to recommend. The level design has some good moments and the game’s free, but the balance is heavily slanted against the player (becoming very noticeable by book 4 and 5), and if you don’t live in one of the few places where the game soft-launched, you’ll have to jump through quite a few sketchy hoops just to play the game in the first place. But hey, if you start right now, you should have enough time to beat it (I started after I beat A Hat in Time and missed a few days but still beat it in less than a month).

P.S. For a game that’s supposed to be a “greatest hits” of sorts of the previous Castlevania games in both scenery and soundtrack, why’d they pick Abandoned Pit for Symphony of the Night? That’s probably the most annoying track in that game.