Another string of busts this time. First, I tried Smooth Mover, but not only does vertical movement have starting and stopping momentum (it’s not even jumping, it’s “floating”), but the game blatantly has hitboxes that are larger than the sprites, as evidenced by the very-visible gaps between you and the spikes each time you die. The game also makes you go through multiple screens without a checkpoint, despite said screens being filled with spikes and you dying in one hit. Next, I tried Pulse Jumper, but when that game wasn’t being bland, it was being cheap, like falling into a pit of enemies before you can see them. I gave up when the game made me climb a room in the ice area so large that trial-and-error is the only way work out which path leaves you with enough ammo to reach the next room. Then, I gave The Lilliputian Runner a chance, but not only does it have the worst checkpoint/save system I’ve seen AND asynchronous on/off lasers in otherwise empty vertical shafts, but 1-4 has a bouncy-ball hazard that moves erratically and significantly faster than you, and the level ends with a gap you can’t double jump across. I suspect the game wanted me to use the wind-gusts to push a block over there through the tunnel that’s one-pixel-too-small for the player to fit through, but the tutorial never said this could be done, and since I’d already activated the level’s last checkpoint, I’d have to do it all over just to see if it was possible. Plus, if the tutorial didn’t tell me that, who knows what else it was hiding–what else I’d have to figure out through trial and error–so I just quit instead.
Finally, I played Rabbit of Destiny. I actually beat this one, so I can say with certainty that it was made by those who don’t understand why people prefer platformers over other genres. Not only do enemies do next-to-nothing until they notice you, but enemy projectiles move realistically fast, like the ones in cover-based shooters, except this game has no cover; you just have to take the hits. Because of this, enemies don’t work off of the level design, and every level plays out basically the same, resulting in the game being boring as well as unfair. The closest things get to being different is when you fall down a shaft and get cheap-shot by enemies before the camera can catch up to you. The boss fights are salvageable, but they also have bad design, like the enemies falling on top of you during the first boss, or the last two bosses tossing projectiles in random trajectories so you can never learn the pattern and counterattack safely.