Progress report: January ‘22 (a.k.a. Making Decent Time For Gaming!)

This month, so as not to feel like all I do is play games, I tried establishing a schedule… sort of. What I mean is that, basically, I would limit myself to roughly an hour or two per day, per platform (which still seems like it’s too much, considering what my usual school day looks like, but I want to keep making steady progress every month). In turn, since that meant limiting myself to an optimal completion count, I got some time to waste away on YouTube catch up to some anime I’ve stalled like half a year ago. …I’m getting there!
Earlier today, though, I found a treasure trove (some of which I was aware of, to be fair) of resources that can potentially make immersive language (Japanese, in particular) learning easy and doable (as condescending and brash as the creator of one of those is). Don’t get me wrong, I would gladly watch anime without subtitles, read untranslated manga or push my way through visual novels with the help of a text hooker… but since I still have so much to do here, I’m trying to sort all of this out in my head.
Which is more important? Which do I make time for? Should I spread myself thin or switch periodically? I don’t want to succumb to the typical mindset of “grammar textbooks suck, taking classes sucks, this or that resource is completely useless” which seems to be common with that kind of self-study learner, but at the same time I can’t argue that actively engaging with the language as much as possible isn’t a good way to learn it…

Whether or not you have any advice, here’s the list of my assassinations:

• Coloring Game 3
  

  60.8 hours playtime

  100 of 100 achievements

• Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Remastered
  

  8.9 hours playtime

  17 of 17 achievements

• Isolomus
  

  0.5 hours playtime

  20 of 20 achievements

• Ken Follett's The Pillars of the Earth
  

  18.9 hours playtime

  41 of 41 achievements

• Life is Strange: Before the Storm
  

  13.0 hours playtime

  34 of 34 achievements

• My Name is Mayo 2
  

  0.8 hours playtime

  50 of 50 achievements

• Noir Chronicles: City of Crime
  

  3.2 hours playtime

  20 of 20 achievements

• Picross Touch
  

  19.7 hours playtime

  18 of 18 achievements

• Samorost 2
  

  0.6 hours playtime

  13 of 13 achievements

• The Ghosts of Hackney Mills
  

  1.2 hours playtime

  8 of 8 achievements

• The Walking Dead: A New Frontier
  

  6.9 hours playtime

  30 of 30 achievements

• Virginia
  

  4.5 hours playtime

  17 of 17 achievements

Coloring Game 3 - Figured I might as well get all the DLCs for this one, too. Most of it was quick to complete, just small images referencing a bunch of different video games, but I did idle out all the huge painting recreations.

Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Remastered - I like Quantic Dream’s games. I played the big three in the last few years and I was really excited to tune into Fahrenheit, to see where the studio has come from. Sure enough, the glow-up on the production side of things has been incredible - they no longer do mocap in some random gymnasiums or voice act in an oddly unprofessional room with some sort of carpet on the wall. As for the game itself, however… well, it did everything to be convoluted yet nothing to explain itself. You start playing as Lucas Kane, whose predicament can most simply be described as “in the wrong place, at the wrong time”, as his murder of an innocent bystander is the catalyst for the whole game. Later, you also get to step in the shoes of Carla Valenti and Tyler Miles, the police officer duo tasked with investigating Lucas’ case. All that would have been fine, except the fact that even as you get deeper into the game, the explanation is nowhere to be found. It’s as if it was time to construct the last few chapters and David Cage suddenly went “oh shit, the story!”, so you get told that Lucas is actually dead, some random mute orphan is the key to UNLIMITED POWER! and the world as we know it is ran from the shadows by two different cults, one of whom controls the politics and such, and the other… the internet? Oh, also, Carla gets together with Lucas, because when Cage sees a man and a woman together on screen, he absolutely has to make them bang. Then Carla gets pregnant and Lucas acknowledges the fact that the kid will likely go through the same thing that happened to him. If you knew from the start, was it really that hard to keep your dick in your pants? I am also not at all impressed by the way the game’s portrayal of Tyler. He’s easily the most likeable character, but he seems to be treated like a damn joke, from his weird-ass sweater, through the way his apartment looks (it’s an explosion of colors, which looks so dumb I thought for sure the design was accidentally switched with some cartoon) all the way to his role in the whole game. Yes, he’s merely Carla’s partner, which leaves him to pick up the crumbs after she’s done eating dinner, but at the same time none of his contributions really matter. He can find the files to an old case, a missing lost book, play b-ball with a coworker and dance with his girlfriend, but that’s really all of it. Nothing except a few breather moments (of which I technically need none, since I was never gripped by the game’s story in the first place) would have been lost without him and I find that upsetting. That being said, there are long QTE sections for meticulously choreographed fight scenes (some of which look absolutely ridiculous), hallucination-induced bug infestations and an interactive sex scene (press right stick down to thrust, amirite? and more seriously… why?), so if any of that sounds good to you, feel free to check out Fahrenheit. If not, but you don’t hate Cage with a burning passion, any of the latter three Quantic Dream titles are infinitely better choices.

Isolomus - From the creator of Wurroom, Isolomus is another out-of-this-world claymation adventure. It definitely seems to be presenting the vices of the current world, in the midst of all its abstract. I usually don’t do well with games that refuse to use language to get things across, but these are just enough for me to handle. I also know that the developer is currently working on two longer titles, so I am holding out for those to come in the future.

Ken Follett’s The Pillars of the Earth - In this wonderful adaptation of the (likely legendary, now) 1989 book of the same title, you will get to control three of the characters: Jack, a wild child who, in due time, will uncover the truth of his past; Philip of Gwynedd, a kind-hearted monk, who will come to ruminate in the present, as he realises that the current religious teachings may need improvement; and last, but not least, Aliena of Shiring, the daughter of an earl, who will fight for the future, striving to reclaim her position after her father’s actions lead to a change of power. This game was an instant favorite for me, with an art style that makes the whole world looks as if it were painted by hand, an amazing soundtrack and most importantly, glorious writing. There’s drama, romance, intrigue; there’s more than enough time to let the player grow attached to the positive characters and loathe the negative ones. Despite being a tad lost at the very end due to it skipping through bigger chunks of time, I wouldn’t object to seeing more - that’s how deeply I enjoyed watching the characters grow, mature and accomplish the goals they’ve set for themselves. I’m not even lying when I say that I can see myself buying the original book, just so I can relive its story all over again.

Life is Strange: Before the Storm - Some stories just aren’t meant to be told. If you’re like me, and after enjoying the imperfect, yet still entertaining Life is Strange, you were probably wondering - how did Chloe make the shift to full-on punk-ho? And more importantly, just who is Rachel Amber? Seems like you’re in luck, as Deck Nine Games is here to answer both of those questions! Wait… what? Yep, for some reason this prequel was developed by an entirely different studio and even the blessing they claimed to have received from DONTNOD Entertainment didn’t help them make a good product. Oh, also, there was a SAG-AFTRA strike, which led to Ashly Burch, Chloe’s original VA, to be unable to reprise her role. That is bad enough on its own, but it gets worse when you realise that none of the reappearing characters got to keep their original voices and as a result, they sound just as bland as nearly all the new characters. As far as technical aspects of the game go, the best thing about this game is that it always launched and worked really smooth, compared to the original game… which is still not enough to compensate for everything else. As for the story… it’s drama upon drama, and none of it is good. I never thought I would say this, but the spat between Chloe and Joyce was the least insulting plotline of them all. I say “insulting”, because… well, we’re in a time when Rachel Amber is still alive. Remember how in the first game everyone loved and missed her dearly, the most beautiful, the most talented, the academically superb Rachel Amber? It seems that was a challenge Deck Nine Games couldn’t step up to, in the end. In turn… they basically created Chloe Price 2.0 before the Chloe we know from the first game even existed. Keep in mind that Max returns to Arcadia Bay after five years of absence - more than enough time for Chloe to make a new friend, even one whom she could deem her new best one. How much time did Before the Storm give them? Three days. You heard me right, those two girls might have had a decent excuse to finally get to know each other better, but apparently the preconceived notions they’ve had about each other for so long were enough for them to know that they’re soulmates within less than a day of hanging out together. (Case in point: there’s a scene in the first episode, where if you express your worries about Joyce, Rachel will answer with “That’s not the Chloe Price I know.” I’m sorry? You’ve “known” her for maybe an hour?) Rachel does some of the exact same things we can see Chloe do to Max in the first game (the previous example counts here as well, not to mention the standoffish demeanor she exhibits when things go wrong). Going off that, there is no way we can now say Chloe’s personality was not shaped by Rachel’s treatment of her. Even more confusingly, Before the Storm does not focus on the buildup to the events of the first game, but rather creates a different problem for Chloe and Rachel to overcome - one that utilizes mostly new characters (which, by the way, you will not have enough time to get invested in and care for) and keeps pulling out the stupidest twists one by one like rabbits out of a magic hat. A seemingly innocent couple, kissing under a tree at a park? Rachel’s dad with a woman she doesn’t recognize. Said woman is…? Her biological mother. Why did he never talk about her? She was a hopeless drug addict, who chose money over her daughter. Is that true? Not really; she kept writing letters to Rachel and voiding the checks from her father. Well, why does Rachel not know about that? Because her father, in the desire to protect her, somehow decided he needs to pay for her biological mother to be killed off by a drug dealer. Say WHAT?! I can’t believe all of that shit is real even as I’m writing it. Also, as an aside to all of that stuff, apparently someone on the writing team decided it would be interesting to give Chloe a childhood friend who seems to have no personality at the start of the game, yet when it’s time, he corners her and proceeds to go full r/niceguy! Deck Nine Games really said “Men are worthless, we can live without ‘em!” It’s a completely pointless development that has no reason to exist. Simply failing to spend time with him doesn’t make Chloe any more of a lesbian or force him into being an incel and for me, the situation during which that scene plays out was already thrilling enough on its own. Speaking of removing men from the picture, I am not against wlw content at all. Yet, since Rachel and Chloe’s “friendship” is so rushed and impossible to believe in, them falling for each other would be even less so. At least I can say that my choices mattered on that front, because at no point was I just forced into kissing Rachel, as opposed to what a certain other game has done in the past. That, and even though I haven’t engaged with many wlw works in the past, I am already deeply sick of the quiet/shy/misunderstood girl x beautiful/perfect/has a rebel streak girl dynamic. It is clearly extremely unhealthy and seeing it play out before my eyes was not entertaining or even adorable. In fact, this whole game made me so upset, I’m pretty sure I had a dream about getting an argument with my mom, which may have become a faint memory as soon as I woke up, but doesn’t erase the fact that I woke up tired. That being said, I will watch out for Life is Strange 2, since that was was written by DONTNOD Entertainment and perhaps avoid Life is Strange: True Colors until it dips in Chloe price eventually.

My Name Is Mayo 2 - Every time I write a piece for a sequel, I go back to see what I said about its prequel and figure out my feelings based on that. Funnily enough, I played the first My Name Is Mayo before I even joined BLAEO, so… there’s a sign of the times, amirite? Well, I also completed both games on PS4 (as well as the Vita, for the first one), but I didn’t mind refreshers. If it were to be stripped of all its flair, My Name is Mayo would just be a simulation of what it’s like to poke a tightly-sealed jar of classic mayonnaise. But to all naysayers I pose the argument that the humor is what makes it worth it. Imagining this exact jar of mayo in all sorts of fever dream situations, coupled with absolutely ridiculous 50s-style art and BGM to match is its own aesthetic. The sequel only improved on what the original game did, bringing some minigames to the table, which in turn give the player a chance to get some more clicks in without just being on the main screen (granted, said player would have to perform poorly). That, and a bunch of cheap, easy and legit achievements, which are attainable at all the in-game milestones never hurt nobody. I recently caught wind of the news that there’s a third (and final!) game in the works, so now I can sit around and twiddle my thumbs as I wait impatiently.

Noir Chronicles: City of Crime - I was really looking forward to playing this one, as I like me some of that 50’s noir vibe. This, however, was a disappointment all across the board. While HOGs are not exactly known for their enthralling storylines (and I’m sure I don’t need to reiterate that, especially to avid players of the genre), this one does nothing to make you care. The villain’s name is also so random that while I forgot it right after, it made me laugh initially, as it felt like whoever came up with it didn’t care either. Present are the creepy, realistic-looking character sprites, bad voice acting (which nobody got credit for… bruh) and one especially obtuse minigame (at least at the very start). Do yourself a favor and avoid this one, if you can.

Picross Touch - With over three hundred official levels and thousands of workshop levels, you can’t go wrong with Picross Touch (especially considering it’s free). I’m just not a big fan of picross in general (as you’ve probably guessed, if you read my posts), so to complete the game, I cheated my way through the official levels and then kept on solving 5x5 levels like a maniac.

Samorost 2 - Gnome is back, and now he has a dog! Well, at first he has to save it from the Aliens. …and then, just as they think their adventure will come to an end, Gnome’s trusty spaceship gives out. Not to worry though, after making a few flying seals fart and pouring a cup of coffee into a taxi driver’s mouth, they arrive home safely! That was a nice game, as nostalgic as it can be for someone who… never really played it in the past. Anyway, on to the third game sometime in the future!

The Ghosts of Hackney Mills - Yet another one of Sapphire Dragon Productions’ mystery-solving RPGMaker games. Once again, I was not interested in trying to digest any of it. All anyone should know about this one is that there’s a lot of listening to spirit messages of people who used to live in the titular Hackney Mills and nearly all of them are foreign men with terrible accents. Glad to be done with that one.

The Walking Dead: A New Frontier - I’m legally not allowed to say I hate this game; it is The Walking Dead, after all. …but I didn’t love it. Although I don’t know where the idea to change protagonists, especially to someone the player doesn’t know at all at that point, came from, it’s not the worst thing about this game. There are a handful of hard-to-read characters, which you have to steer the right way with your choices - not a new thing for Telltale games, of course, but there are two big plot points I was less than happy about. First, Kate trying to get into Javier’s pants, because she thinks that’s what he wants, too. If you’re feeling fancy, you might like what’s happening there, but as sucky as her marriage with David was, I couldn’t see her and Javier becoming a thing. Heck, at a certain point another girl appeared and I was hoping to romance her, but that was written from the ground up to not be possible, so… I digress. Second, the treatment of Clementine. I don’t mind catching up with her through flashbacks, mainly because I don’t know how else one would go about that, but even though I quickly took a liking to Javier, I was still much more interested in Clementine. And because I, like I am sure many other players do, love Clementine just the way she is, I absolutely did not understand the decision to make her care about Gabriel, especially with how unhelpful his constant teenage angst is. Between those two and a sort of failed relationship happening on the side, I’m convinced someone on the writing team really wanted there to be romance for the sake of it. Still, the thought of Final Season coming back to Clementine’s story fills me with anticipation.

Virginia - A first-person, story-based thriller; Virginia follows Anne Tarver, a freshly graduated FBI agent, as she slowly settles into her job, receives a file on her first case and gets assigned to her partner. The opening sequence is grand, as it gently informs you of the fact that the music has been performed by a real orchestra while pretty shots of the in-game town flash by… and then it all goes downhill. As it turns out, a story-based game can’t do much if it insists on not using words (which, you will know if you know me, is also one of my biggest pet peeves). Characters emote, related recollections flash by where applicable, but it’s a struggle to try and make out what the story actually is. Heck, even the few paragraphs of text the game does show you - you might not be able to read them, either because they flash by too fast and/or you realised there isn’t any reading to do in the game, so by the time one of them appears, your brain has turned off completely. Also, if this is supposed to be a thrilling and indulging experience, why on earth do most of the achievements require me to interact with some of the most random items that don’t even seem to be related to any of the important characters, or better yet, go around collecting flowers and feathers? It’s as if the developers made a movie, but then insisted on turning it into a game. Guess what? I think it would have fared better as a movie.

See you next month! :)