June 9th, 2k19
okay, finally finished some GAMEZ, hallelujah on rye.
we have to go…… deeper.
Inception was a good movie, and all the meaty interesting bits were brutally ripped out and presumably shot dead out back in an alley to make way for the plot of this game. only way i got through this was making the BWAAAAAAAH noise at every Shyamalan-like "tweest" and then cackling for a bit.
well, they tried.
two playthroughs to get all cheevos, and you have to finish each run totally to get them since they're dished out after the credits have rolled. and there's no save! yer gonna sit through almost 50 minutes of a few grad students trying to imitate David Lynch in game form and yer gonna do it now!
got some distinct "this is my portfolio so plz hire me" vibes from the whole affair. i mean, it's fine? but i didn't give a shit about any of it, and the only thing that piqued my interest was the tv-head cop thing near the end. that thing was sweeeeeet. and now that i'm thinking about it, was that ripped from SAGA?? oh my gawd! it totally was! they put the Prince Robot dude in this game!! what the hell?!
address all complaints to the Monsanto Corporation
malevolent chipmunk being a creepy child snatcher, how glorious. apparently this is supposed to be a psychological horror game, but for me it was just about chilling in the nice environments and spamming the RMB to see if the MC finally calls her child an entitled little bastard for pulling this inciting event shit. hurrah for walking simulators! hurrah for swan boats that look you in the eye all disapproving-like! hurrah for an overused trope about parental neglect! hurrah, hurrah!!
the best developed character in this game was the fucking pig.
i have to go replay a couple chapters to get the cheevos i missed before i can uninstall and that is probably the worst part about this. it's a nondescript telltale game with a forgettable plot and nothing really tangible to the gameplay. the dialogue was supposed to be funny? but it was just annoying. giving this a neutral rating because i'm sure someone out there would find this game a compelling gem, but that person is just not me.
also, i'm kinda peeved that the DLC is off the store now cos this game will never be a 100% for me because of the way they structured it. i didn't actually care if i played the final chapters present in the add-on, only for the stats, but booooooooo for removing them from the store. probably will crop up on the Windows Store in the future, which i refuse to open on my computer because it keeps trying to brute force an install of Candy Crush. Fffff.
i have five puppies to deal with so there’s some inattentive gaming going on while i keep track of the furballs, hence the walking simulators and other titles that don’t require much in the way of thinking. going for anything that has been sitting on my external for a while because i am at 512 installed games right now and some of them need to be uninstalled!! five hundred and fucking twelve! this is a disaster!!
next post will probably include:
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Game of Thrones - A Telltale Games Series
2 hours playtime
8 of 48 achievements
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Kairo
2 hours playtime
3 of 11 achievements
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Orwell
5 hours playtime
16 of 27 achievements
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SOMA
6 hours playtime
0 of 10 achievements
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Pixel Puzzles 2: Anime
8 hours playtime
18 of 27 achievements
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Void & Meddler
3 hours playtime
3 of 41 achievements
Oof, I thought I was bad for having 390 games installed. Do you also have my bad habit of not uninstalling games until you’re absolutely finished with them, even if you don’t touch them for years, or do you install them to harvest cards and not play them?
Have you played The Secret World? I ask because The Park is set in that universe and that’s the main reason I want to try it out.
Just started Minecraft story Mode myself (probably would not have done so if it were not for the risk of it becoming unplayable. Whoever is in charge of communications over at Minecraft HQ really is not doing a good job)
And wow, this game is so buggy. It is from an era of Telltale games when their games were rushed out the door with little testing, where Batman was an owl, but no other of their games have been quite so buggy. Dialogue keeps cutting out, facial animations are often borked (particularly for bearded characters), textures keep flickering and some transparency effects seem to not work properly. At least the pig is kind of cute.
As for “The Park”, yeah, I did not find it overly great either. In my mini-review of it, 8 months ago, I wrote “But overall, The Park was a letdown. It’s not the worst game ever, but it deserves its “mixed” score on steam.”.
That person is me. And I loved season 2 even more :)