Amitte

Progress report: May 2019

God… I planned to do a lot, and I mean a lot more with my backlog in May, but alas…
I went back to school and it, along with multiple other things, took a huge toll on me.
So I ended up with a “meh” on my first Challenge Me! and close-to-absolutely-no progress on my other stuff.
(Psst! If you’re curious, you can still check out my challenges here: General, Hidden Object Games, Point and Clicks, Visual Novels)
Siiigh… and to think I’ll be holed up in the hospital for half a week soon…
Anyway, here’s what I actually managed to accomplish:

Catgirl Magic: Furry Duel - Another one of those crappy anime-styled games, yaaay… I still can’t believe I’ve spent over 2 hours on it. As the name states, you’re a catgirl… and you duel. But more seriously, the game has a whopping 15 levels of kitty-dueling. “Well then, how do you duel?”, you might ask. After choosing your desired catgirl wizardess, you face off against opponents (Basically the same models. At some point you’re literally going to fight yourself. How stupid is that?) by making cats appear on the table standing between you and your opponent. Whichever cat has a bigger point value wins. Whoever loses a round… takes off a piece of clothing. Well, more like it disappears off of her body. Each character has exactly four pieces of clothing to take off, so the shortest duels last four rounds, but if you come to a draw, the duel could last even eight rounds (can’t remember if it took any longer than that; I’ve spent a while playing this on and off, actually). All the interactivity this game has to offer is mashing Space in order to put a cat on the table and even that doesn’t work instantly most of the time. I know I often caught myself waiting for the game to announce another round (because when that happens, you, obviously, can’t duel for a brief moment), when in reality the game just didn’t want to register my Space-pressing. What also doesn’t work in favor of this little game is its RNG. It’s unbelievable. While at times you’ll be winning two, three duels in a row, later you’ll come to a big halt because even though you can use stronger cats now, the RNG won’t let you pass. Speaking of which, the cats you use start differing in looks and point values as you pass levels, but it’s stupid that you only get a certain set of cats forced upon yourself. Maybe a deck-building element would make it more bearable. Because of that, I believe I only passed ten, maybe twelve levels and gave up on trying to go further (thankfully, there weren’t any achievements that would force me to); just had to grind the achievement I got last on the easiest duels not to make myself suffer too much. Oh, and another thing I just remembered. Whenever you put out the cats, both your character and the opponent shout. Every time. It’s only simple lines in Japanese, stuff like “Go!” and “Take this!”, but they’re extremely high-pitched and they often overlap, creating a cacophony, so I had to mute the sound almost instantly.

Dr. Langeskov, The Tiger, and The Terribly Cursed Emerald: A Whirlwind Heist - A short (and again, FREE!) game from the original creator of The Stanley Parable (which I’ve yet got to finish, achievement-wise), about an amazing heist… but not really. If I said anything more, I’d spoil it all. Just know that you’ll be led by an informative narrator (played by Simon Amstell, and I have to say, I really like his voice) and it’ll all be grand. I’d say the achievements are pretty unnecessary, but I guess they are a dealbreaker for way too many out there when it comes to free games (Seriously, people! How about looking at creator names or themes?). That being said, I got all the achievements, but it seems there’s one thing in particular that I’ve missed. Gotta remind myself to go back and check it out.

Elementary My Dear Majesty! - It’s tough to keep this one on the HOG list because of what the gameplay actually looks like, but I don’t suppose there is any other way. This game would probably win the award for most varied and disjointed locations in a HOG. In Elementary My Dear Majesty!, you’re a… knight? tasked with curing a princess who suddenly turned into some kind of alien creature. And if that wasn’t enough, she’s later abducted. Anyway, I assume this game tried to bring something new to the table - 3D HOGing - but that fell flat on its face. The locations use a weird rotation mechanic which barely turns them to a chosen side and everything you need to find step-by-step is contained within those few degrees you can rotate most locations. The objects are either in plain sight or hidden so well you have to use hints. The other riddles are either a piece of cake or trial-and-error bullshit. Seriously, it’s like being in school. You want to try to do something your way, but no one will even let you. (Besides, how am I supposed to know alien dressing etiquette?) The game provides scenarios that would only make children laugh, going as far as making an Eskimo so stupid he got buried in snow or mashing China and Japan together. The music is extremely repetitive, playing for the most part, a track that for some reason reminds me of this… possibly because they use the same flute (Or is that even a flute? I’m a music dumbass.) One thing I liked though was the timer in each location, which let me know how much time I spent (obviously) on playing said location, as well as a progress bar (so I could measure my suffering). All in all, it looks like it’s for children, but then again, is as complicated as if it was meant for adults. Not recommended.

Fran Bow - Fran Bow is a point-and-click which tells the story of… well, Fran Bow, a ten/eleven-year-old girl who’s believed to be insane and therefore is first met by the player in a madhouse. The task is to help her escape said madhouse and return home safely… and after a successful escape, that’s when it really picks up. Most of the time, you can make Fran take her “medicine”, which will briefly transfer her to an alternative, much more gruesome reality, and sometimes it’s there you have to seek out clues and necessary items. It’s a tale much like Alice in Wonderland, but a lot more brutal (And Fran does claim to know Alice at a point in the game, too!) - on the scale of different Alice portrayals, it would be somewhat of a mix between the Disney one and Madness Returns. The developers did a pretty excellent job with this game and I already can not wait for their next game, Little Misfortune! I’ve seen the demo at play already and it is plainly amazing!

Guilty Summer Kiss - It’s one of those games I knew was going to be bad, but I got it (and played it) anyway. You’re an unnamed guy and your nonexistent friend made you a bet that you won’t be able to pick up the three most popular girls at school. Your task is to prove him wrong (or not, that’s not hard either). The thing is, getting all the girls was way too easy. Really. It was harder not to get with any of them. The “visual novel” aspect of this game is watered down to “say what she wants to hear, or you’ll have to play a minigame to save your ass”, which is just annoying, as the minigames are partially broken. The interface looks very smooth, but the characters are weird (save for the pink-haired girl, for some reason I actually really like her design). There’s also nudity and it is… poor man’s porn. Not only that, but I didn’t even have the chance to see a lot of it anyway; the short video scenes were very laggy, even though I played this on a computer that’s way better than what I usually use. Guilty Summer Kiss is just really shallow and it’s only going on the Beaten list because I can’t seem to figure out how to get the rest of the achievements (even though I feel like I reached the necessary requirements). I heard the game has really changed from what it was before, so maybe that’s the… irreversable… problem… grits teeth Anyway, if any of you have played this crappy game and know how to get the achievements I’m missing, I’m all ears.

Guilty Summer Kiss 2 - Bloody Secret - Feeling dejected about the achievements in the first game, I quickly picked up the second one to see what it’s about. And it’s… a little different. It introduces a murder mystery, but honestly, the story is so shallow I didn’t care for it much. This time you don’t necessarily pick up any of the girls, you rather determine if someone’s going to save you (or if you will be saved) when you’re in trouble. The second installment introduces three new characters, which are more or less responsible for the dark themes (again, only one of them looks interesting enough in my opinion). It also has the nudie option, but again, it suffers from being poor man’s porn and laggy video scenes. Luckily, this one is Completed, as I managed to get all the achievements, some of which pretty much required to just peek at some of the most unexpected lines (I managed to play through the game a few times without getting the last achievement only because at one of the choices I kept picking the one that led me away from what I needed to read to be done with the game, such a pain).

HuniePop - Finally completed! HuniePop, if, for some reason you’ve been living under a rock for the last 4 years or so, is a dating sim where you pick up girls, aaand… well, sleep with them. And it all comes to fruition through playing an innovative and complex match-3 game. On one hand, it’s not surprising it took as long, given how strict some of the trophies are, but on the other hand… I’ve been playing it for so long I could almost recite the whole game from memory at this point. I absolutely adore this game. Not because I’m sexist or something, just… the humor. It’s pretty amazing. And you know, at the end of the day, if I want to fetishize fictional men, I gotta let people fetishize fictional women, right? As convinced as I am that the dev isn’t keen on making a genderbent version, here’s to the sequel, which seems to be coming closer and closer to release. Ha, get it? Coming… release. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Rusty Lake: Roots - Remember the time you were ten-something and liked playing browser games after you diligently did your homework? (Or not, in which case kudos to you for getting on with life… or not? Anyway, back to the point.) This is what Rusty Lake: Roots plays like. It’s not a bad port of a mobile game, it’s just remindful of them. I was worried I wouldn’t understand any of the story, going into this one, as it’s not the first installment, but now that I’ve finished it, I think I wouldn’t understand anything anyway. Rusty Lake: Roots leads you through the lives of the members of the Vanderboom family. The wholegame has a sort of a roadmap - starting with James Vanderboom, who first came to Rusty Lake, you explore scenes from different, more or less major events and through some point-and-clicking and riddle solving, you gain the results or things needed to complete said scenes. Voice acting was sparse, but good. The art style fits the theme - it is a horror game, so don’t expect to be collecting cute animal plushies and the like. The sound effects were another thing that reminded me of browser games I played when I was younger. As easy as the gameplay sounds, there were places I got stuck, so I can certainly appreciate the creators making their own walkthrough of the whole game - not only is it professional, it only saved time random people who would have done that instead, I assume. If you like point and clicks and Twin Peaks (which is said to be the main inspiration for this series), then Rusty Lake: Roots, as well as the other installments are for you.

SIMULACRA: Pipe Dreams - I’m sad to say I didn’t enjoy this one as much as the original SIMULACRA. It did get grindy too, but… while I pretty much knew most of the solutions to the original game, it took a while for dozens (!) of fellow players to figure out the requirements for multiple achievements in this one. I don’t get what Cold Cases or The Gulf War have to do with anything, really… It was almost 10 hours of suffering (first playthrough excluded). But enough of that. SIMULACRA: Pipe Dreams is a found-phone game… but in this case, you (finally?) don’t find a phone, you’re just an unnamed person using their own phone. The focus of Pipe Dreams is Teddy, your friend, who recently got addicted to a Flappy Bird clone, to the point where he’s been unemployed for quite a while, his girlfriend left him, his flat is a mess and no one takes him seriously anymore. Oh, and he’s also having episodes of memory loss. In time, he’ll persuade you to start playing the game as well, and he’ll keep challenging you… until the point of no return. Similarly to the original SIMULACRA, there are four endings you can get in this one. There are, however, quite a few achievements related to the Flappy Bird copycat by themselves, which, if grinded right, could have taken less time than they did for me. The well-known IRIS OS also comes back, this time to plague your phone with… ads. First time you watch them, they might actually look funny, but when they start popping up randomly, not only do they serve as potential jumpscares (Seriously, Kaigan Games! Could you not do that?! I don’t want to fall off my seat every time someone calls!), but also solid cringe. At least the Simulacrum has a voice in this one, and it is positively chilling. At the end of the day, I really tried to empathize with Teddy, since some of the things he said were a little too real for me, but then his character was just all over the place… meh.

Step sisters: Episode 2 - This… is the last I’ll ever see of Hanae Novels. Thank god. It picks up where Episode 1 left off, and for some reason the titular sisters decided to read their mother’s diary to find themselves a mystery: Who did she lose her virginity to? They figured their aunt might know, cause apparently she knows way too much, so they went to visit and ask. She saw right through them being lovers and admitted to being the mysterious person that took their mother’s virginity. And after they left their house, they snuck around the back to peek into the window of her bedroom for what was obviously going to become voyeurism… only that it cuts off there. I literally just told you all the whole plot. God damn, those are awful. Now, onward to a different kind of bad!

The Awesome Adventures of Captain Spirit - Gotta start by saying I absolutely loved this one! I’ve seen many people say it’s on the level of “not even worth it for free”, but it’s not the case for me. Captain Spirit is another creation of DONTNOD Entertainment, the studio behind Remember Me and the Life is Strange series. It’s described as sort of a demo, set between the events of Life is Strange and Life is Strange 2. In it, you assume the role of Chris, a 9 year-old boy who’s really into superheroes and is one of his own - his alter-ego, Captain Spirit. You have the opportunity to spend a beautiful Saturday morning in snowy Oregon - you could help your dad clean around the house or spend time playing instead; or even both, the world is your oyster. After almost 5 hours of playtime and going through the game three times to try pretty much everything I could, I’m kind of sad to see it ending the same every time; but without the ending being as it is, there would be no foreshadowing to LiS 2. Speaking of which, it was really cool to discover the numerous references! Besides the fact that you’re still in Oregon, just in another town, if you read everything you can find, you’ll discover that Chris’ mom went to Blackwell Academy, the same high school from LiS. Hawt Dawg Man is also still a popular mascot in-universe. For being as short as it was, it was a real treat, allowing me to go back to look at the childhood wonder that usually slowly gets lost on us as we grow older. And since the credits said Chris also appears in LiS 2, I can’t wait to play it now! If you liked Life is Strange, I definitely recommend you check out Captain Spirit as well!

Welcome To… Chichester 0 - Preview - I said I was gonna play bad stuff, and here I am again. As a frequent VNDB user, I’ve been seeing the title Welcome To… Chichester popping up way too often for my liking… so I noticed that this one was free and decided to take a look. It… was… ugh. When will people stop making bad games? I get it, indie and all, but I still can’t believe some people are proud enough to sign those with their name, and that’s what the creator of this one did. It was 20 minutes long, its grammar was terrible and while it might have linked to the rest of the franchise, it did a terrible job of explaining anything. I get that it’s just a “preview” and that it was basically the creator sort of playing around in VN-making software (there are two versions of this!), but I mean, come on…

almost 5 years ago 4 comments
Arbiter Libera

Great write-ups and I wish I played any of those so I could comment constructively. :D

Ha, get it? Coming… release.

Run, I hear the pun police is on the way.

almost 5 years ago
Amitte

Aw, thank you! Well, maybe it’s time you checked those out, if they look interesting :D

Run? Pssh. I will happily get arrested by that kind of police. ;)

almost 5 years ago
Arbiter Libera

VNs and matching puzzles aren’t exactly my thing, but I have been eying The Awesome Adventures of Captain Spirit. Want to finish first season of Life is Strange before I do that, though.

almost 5 years ago
Amitte

Oh yes, do that ASAP! I’m rooting for you :D

almost 5 years ago